she was trying to save me

i havent noticed it completley untill now, but she really was trying to help me. my ex girlfriend/best friend was trying to open my eyes, to get me to see what the hell i was doing. all i did was push her away. i sat here for a while and thought about it. she tried everything she could to help me. and now i realize what ive done. i just wish i could get better. i wish there was some way to fix this. i cant tell her how sorry i am for what ive done. i over used the word as i have noticed so it no longer means anything. if i can get better, i would do anything to build that trust agian, but i fear i may never gain that trust, and everything that made that friendship so strong.